When siblings fight, it tends to trigger us as parents. Our emotional brain goes on red alert and tells us to stop this bickering NOW!
That is natural – we all get triggered at times. But it is important to acknowledge that we do have choices in those moments, and what we do when we are triggered matters a great deal. The way we intervene when our children are fighting can either help to increase understanding, boost connection and ease tensions between them, or it can set up a dynamic which can actually make future fights more likely. Unless we were raised with parents who modeled the former set of tools for us, most of will react unconsciously in a way that leads to the latter.
The good news is that with reflection, self inquiry, intention and practice, new and more effective tools can be learned. In our work together, I help parents implement these helpful tools, in turn promoting positive relationships among siblings by shifting the unhelpful family patterns that tend to fuel sibling squabbles.
Siblings Without Rivalry: How to help your children live together so you can live too
CLICK HERE to read about a helpful way to introduce the idea of therapy to your child.